The Doghouse

There's something compelling about being in someone's doghouse. It removes ambiguity. It clarifies what can and cannot happen between you. If you bring it on yourself, then you are relieved of the obligation and standing to confront the other person with their failures and betrayals. For the confrontation-averse, the relief at letting go of one's pique can be greater than the regret for one's own mistake or the distress of punishment. An even better scenario for some, is when entry to the doghouse is earned by an altruistic action that is misconstrued by others. Then one spends one's time in the doghouse feeling morally superior to the other, whom one deigns to forgive "for they know not what they do." A cherry on top is when the doghouse owner had been carrying on about their intellectual and moral superiority. Now the tables have turned, though they are rarely aware of one's private triumph at their expense.

This script is commonly employed by those with narcissistic-masochistic personality traits. The are generally oblivious to the pleasure they take in getting themselves into the doghouse. They may admit that it is puzzling how someone so seemingly intelligent, competent, and well-meaning keeps finding themselves in trouble, but they will generally externalize, by focusing on models in which the world is peopled by the benighted and the cruel.

The games people play until they tire of themselves are innumerable.